Bullying appears to be the topic of the day. In light of more recent suicides attributed to bullying, it is an important topic to be addressed appropriately in many forums. The issue I have is that, the definition of bullying itself is being misused as a blanket explanation for any conflict that occurs. If a student pushes another student on the playground, he or she is being bullied, if a child calls another child a name or makes a face it is bullying. If teasing occurs it is called bullying.
Conflict is a part of life, we are not always going to agree with our colleagues, teammates, family or friends. People are going to get angry at one another. At some point in time, it is inevitable that someone is going to do or say something that is going to hurt us. What is important is what we do with that and how we learn from it.
We need to give our children and our students the skills to be able to say, "I don't like it when you...", "Please stop..." "It makes me feel bad when..." We need to be able to help our students problem solve, understand one another, appreciate others' feelings and learn their mistakes. Otherwise, things won't change.
Bullying, real bullying, is a big deal. By definition, bullying is an intentional, habitual, repeated pattern of
behaviour intended to be hurtful or demeaning or to exercise power over
an individual. By painting every conflict with the same brush; by labeling every disagreement, fight and eye roll with the same term "bullying" we are minimizing the real issue and not focusing on what really needs to be addressed in schools, mental health agencies, law enforcement and government in regards to bullying.
Last night, the top news story involved a high school student who wore a full painted face of gothic style make-up to school. The principal asked her not to wear that make-up at school anymore. The news story called this "bullying" by the principal. The story said that the parent and student had filed complaints with both that school division and the Ministry of Education. Further, they were petitioning the legislature to do something about this bullying; the mother was quoted as saying, "this bullying has got to stop."
I find it ironic that in the last week there have been 2 stories of young girls who have taken their own lives as a result of relentless, ongoing demeaning postings on social media by peers and yet the "bullying" the media is calling for addressing in their top news story is a principal enforcing what he believes to be the school dress code. Am I saying she shouldn't be allowed to wear her make-up? That is not my decision to make. Would it be okay with a potential employer for her to wear that make up as a server in a restaurant, a teller in a bank, a cashier in a store? Likely not. Is a school dress code an issue worth discussing and clearly defining at a school or division level? Certainly. Is enforcing the dress code bullying? I do not think so. Where do we draw the line? What is the real issue? What is the true definition of bullying? And once we know and understand what bullying really is, what are we going to do to prevent it and to address it?
Tuesday 29 October 2013
Wednesday 25 September 2013
Why I Tweet
I am writing this blog in response to something that happened to me today that I can't let go of although I know I should. I feel the need to say, or in this case blog, my piece so I can be at peace. Here's hoping I find it!
I am a mom first and a teacher second, I am many other things but these are the most important to me; they are my passions, my callings and they bring meaning and joy to my life every day.
That is not to say that there aren't days that I want to gouge my eyes out because of something my children have said or done or something that happens at school! There are days I am hanging by a thread...
I work in a great place surrounded by great people; sometimes we see things the same way, often times we don't but I am enriched by their perspective as it allows me to develop, to refine and to adapt my own. I work in an incredible profession. One that is constantly evolving and changing. One that demands so much of so many who are so willing to give it.
I know what I think constitutes "best practice" in my field based on research, reading and my own lived experience. What I think or believe may not be the truth (if there is a truth) but part of what is so important about my profession is being able to advocate for "best practice" in so many ways; through dialogue, professional reading, trial and error and social media. This is for the benefit of all children, not just the ones in the school where I work, not just my own, but the children all over the world whose teachers are blogging, posting and sharing and becoming better, stronger and smarter through this amazing collective wisdom.
Certainly this makes us vulnerable as we tread on those swirling waters. Once you press send, post or publish, your words, ideas, questions and frustrations are out there and with that comes the knowledge that you will post something that someone doesn't like or finds offensive in some way.
My main purpose using twitter specifically is to connect with professionals whose wisdom and experience is far greater than my own in order to hone my craft, to adapt my beliefs and to experiment in new ideas in the name of "best practice". Through this forum I have been at times enlightened, at times enraged and always engaged by the insight of my colleagues far and near. Who knew140 characters could have such power? With power comes responsibility. I accept responsibility for things I have posted, linked to, tweeted and retweeted to question, to comment and to provoke.
The fact is, as an educator , I do not believe in home spelling programs delivered without context as they fly in the face of my beliefs about assessment and "best practice" in language instruction. The fact is, as a parent, when my kids bring home spelling words and assignments, I do my best to help them study and complete their assignments because that is my job as a mom. The fact is there are plenty of instructional practices I do not care for. The fact is, these same practices may work great for someone else. The fact is, when I call the practice (not the person) into question, I am fortunate to have a PLN who is quick to chime in with their ideas pro and con and, often times, some great links for further insight.
If you read this through I hope it helps you to know a little bit about who I am, about why I tweet. I have not intended any of my tweets to be malicious or hurtful and if they are or were, please accept my apology and know that if that is the case the easiest thing to do is click unfollow.
I am a mom first and a teacher second, I am many other things but these are the most important to me; they are my passions, my callings and they bring meaning and joy to my life every day.
That is not to say that there aren't days that I want to gouge my eyes out because of something my children have said or done or something that happens at school! There are days I am hanging by a thread...
I work in a great place surrounded by great people; sometimes we see things the same way, often times we don't but I am enriched by their perspective as it allows me to develop, to refine and to adapt my own. I work in an incredible profession. One that is constantly evolving and changing. One that demands so much of so many who are so willing to give it.
I know what I think constitutes "best practice" in my field based on research, reading and my own lived experience. What I think or believe may not be the truth (if there is a truth) but part of what is so important about my profession is being able to advocate for "best practice" in so many ways; through dialogue, professional reading, trial and error and social media. This is for the benefit of all children, not just the ones in the school where I work, not just my own, but the children all over the world whose teachers are blogging, posting and sharing and becoming better, stronger and smarter through this amazing collective wisdom.
Certainly this makes us vulnerable as we tread on those swirling waters. Once you press send, post or publish, your words, ideas, questions and frustrations are out there and with that comes the knowledge that you will post something that someone doesn't like or finds offensive in some way.
My main purpose using twitter specifically is to connect with professionals whose wisdom and experience is far greater than my own in order to hone my craft, to adapt my beliefs and to experiment in new ideas in the name of "best practice". Through this forum I have been at times enlightened, at times enraged and always engaged by the insight of my colleagues far and near. Who knew140 characters could have such power? With power comes responsibility. I accept responsibility for things I have posted, linked to, tweeted and retweeted to question, to comment and to provoke.
The fact is, as an educator , I do not believe in home spelling programs delivered without context as they fly in the face of my beliefs about assessment and "best practice" in language instruction. The fact is, as a parent, when my kids bring home spelling words and assignments, I do my best to help them study and complete their assignments because that is my job as a mom. The fact is there are plenty of instructional practices I do not care for. The fact is, these same practices may work great for someone else. The fact is, when I call the practice (not the person) into question, I am fortunate to have a PLN who is quick to chime in with their ideas pro and con and, often times, some great links for further insight.
If you read this through I hope it helps you to know a little bit about who I am, about why I tweet. I have not intended any of my tweets to be malicious or hurtful and if they are or were, please accept my apology and know that if that is the case the easiest thing to do is click unfollow.
Friday 31 May 2013
the little teacher
My eldest daughter loves to play school. She has one student, her little sister. The other day, while they were in the middle of make believe school, my younger daughter came into the living room and gave her father and I this note:
I laughed out loud. How reasonable this is. If only we could expect that parents might follow up an incident from school with a consequence at home. Parents and teachers working together to support the students and wrap around them, reinforcing positive choices and providing consequences for negative choices. That could really work!!!
It makes me wonder how we can get back to that team approach. How do we encourage parents to trust us as educators and to work with us? Instead of looking at blaming the teachers and the school or blaming the parents or the home we could work together to find solutions rather than to make excuses.
I laughed out loud. How reasonable this is. If only we could expect that parents might follow up an incident from school with a consequence at home. Parents and teachers working together to support the students and wrap around them, reinforcing positive choices and providing consequences for negative choices. That could really work!!!
It makes me wonder how we can get back to that team approach. How do we encourage parents to trust us as educators and to work with us? Instead of looking at blaming the teachers and the school or blaming the parents or the home we could work together to find solutions rather than to make excuses.
Thursday 30 May 2013
The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree
Okay, let's get things straight right off the bat. I am a parent. This experience qualifies me to say that parenting is unequivocally the most difficult job in the world. No matter what you do, you are going to find some way to screw up. It is HARD and kids, even our own children who we love unconditionally, can be REALLY ANNOYING!
Another important thing, whatever quality your kid has that most gets under your skin or on your nerves, he or she most likely got it from you. It is inescapable. Nature, nurture, tomato (long a), tomato (short a), whatever made them that way, your genes or your actions, it is ALL YOUR FAULT!
As a teacher and school administrator, I have often heard various presenters tell us that, "the parents send the very best children they have to school, they don't keep the good ones at home". The point is to remind us to always see the potential in these children. Here is the real truth, the kids are stuck with the parents they have and that is probably why they act the way that they do!
Almost every time I have a meeting with a student's parent or parents, I am struck with this thought: "Oh that explains it..." Seriously, you have heard the expression "you are what you eat"? Well, the truth is, "you are what your parents made you."
Why am I telling you this? So you can live knowing your son or daughter is destined to be a bully or a nerd, a slacker or a jerk just like you? No, I am telling you this so that you realize the best way to parent your children is to demonstrate the kind of person you want them to be. If you want kindness, be kind. You want your child to have empathy? Show empathy. If you want them to have work ethic, to value family, to be focused, you must show them the way! I already told you that parenting is the hardest job ever but, if there was ever anything worth being a better person for, it is most certainly your children! If you follow this advice and it still doesn't work, there is only one thing left to do...blame your spouse!
Another important thing, whatever quality your kid has that most gets under your skin or on your nerves, he or she most likely got it from you. It is inescapable. Nature, nurture, tomato (long a), tomato (short a), whatever made them that way, your genes or your actions, it is ALL YOUR FAULT!
As a teacher and school administrator, I have often heard various presenters tell us that, "the parents send the very best children they have to school, they don't keep the good ones at home". The point is to remind us to always see the potential in these children. Here is the real truth, the kids are stuck with the parents they have and that is probably why they act the way that they do!
Almost every time I have a meeting with a student's parent or parents, I am struck with this thought: "Oh that explains it..." Seriously, you have heard the expression "you are what you eat"? Well, the truth is, "you are what your parents made you."
Why am I telling you this? So you can live knowing your son or daughter is destined to be a bully or a nerd, a slacker or a jerk just like you? No, I am telling you this so that you realize the best way to parent your children is to demonstrate the kind of person you want them to be. If you want kindness, be kind. You want your child to have empathy? Show empathy. If you want them to have work ethic, to value family, to be focused, you must show them the way! I already told you that parenting is the hardest job ever but, if there was ever anything worth being a better person for, it is most certainly your children! If you follow this advice and it still doesn't work, there is only one thing left to do...blame your spouse!
Wednesday 23 January 2013
950 Contact hours
The Saskatchewan Party's announcement to increase student/teacher contact hours to 950 has sparked a great deal of lively debate over social media in the last 24 hours or so. I feel compelled to weigh in on the issue and to post my own concerns.
First of all 40 hours is an arbitrary number. Each school division will need to decide how best to implement the required extra hours. It is important to know that staff in each school division have different local bargaining agreements which govern items like preparation time, recess, lunch hours, professional development etc. The divisions must honour these contracts so, it isn't as simple as cutting out recess as some have suggested. Some divisions may choose to lengthen the school day itself, others may add additional days depending upon the contractual requirements and what the divisions feel will be most appropriate for their students, staff and stakeholders.
The question that I ask is "who benefits?" is the point of the additional minutes to equate instructional minutes from province to province? Is it, as some have suggested, to ensure teachers are working longer days? Is it to improve academic achievement? Is it to increase graduation rates? The purpose is not yet clear to me therefore it is difficult to weigh in on whether or not the additional contact time will achieve the desired results!
Quantity of instructional time and quality of instructional time are significantly different. More time does not necessarily equate with more learning. Further, even if adding contact minutes for students already attending school does improve achievement, it still does not address the students who do not attend school.
Currently, there is very little that individual schools can do to enforce attendance. Schools can contact homes, send letters, do home visits, connect families with other agencies and support programs but schools cannot force students to come to school. Social Services indicates that non-attendance does not constitute neglect so the Ministry of Social Services cannot support schools in this regard. The gap in learning widens as these children miss more and more per-requisite material and basic skills. This makes coming to school even less appealing for them. By the time students like this reach high school they are so far behind that it seems pointless to bother coming. I doubt very much that lengthening the school day or school year will do anything to address this increasing and significant problem.
Our families who need the most support have access to the least resources. These same families have often had negative experience with schools and tend to be distrustful of teachers and school professionals. If we want to positively impact these children and provide them with more and better educational opportunities, the Provincial Government needs to do more than make the school day longer. We need a comprehensive collaborative plan including the Ministry of Health, the Ministry of Social Services, and the Ministry of Education. We need resources targeting these most vulnerable Saskatchewan citizens. We need support for these families in the areas of parenting, education, employment, health and various other services.
I know that when you ask people what they need more of in order to do something well, the answer is inevitably going to be 'time' but it isn't just about time, it is about how you use that time and for some of our students, time is running out. I am afraid for them, 950 is not the solution.
First of all 40 hours is an arbitrary number. Each school division will need to decide how best to implement the required extra hours. It is important to know that staff in each school division have different local bargaining agreements which govern items like preparation time, recess, lunch hours, professional development etc. The divisions must honour these contracts so, it isn't as simple as cutting out recess as some have suggested. Some divisions may choose to lengthen the school day itself, others may add additional days depending upon the contractual requirements and what the divisions feel will be most appropriate for their students, staff and stakeholders.
The question that I ask is "who benefits?" is the point of the additional minutes to equate instructional minutes from province to province? Is it, as some have suggested, to ensure teachers are working longer days? Is it to improve academic achievement? Is it to increase graduation rates? The purpose is not yet clear to me therefore it is difficult to weigh in on whether or not the additional contact time will achieve the desired results!
Quantity of instructional time and quality of instructional time are significantly different. More time does not necessarily equate with more learning. Further, even if adding contact minutes for students already attending school does improve achievement, it still does not address the students who do not attend school.
Currently, there is very little that individual schools can do to enforce attendance. Schools can contact homes, send letters, do home visits, connect families with other agencies and support programs but schools cannot force students to come to school. Social Services indicates that non-attendance does not constitute neglect so the Ministry of Social Services cannot support schools in this regard. The gap in learning widens as these children miss more and more per-requisite material and basic skills. This makes coming to school even less appealing for them. By the time students like this reach high school they are so far behind that it seems pointless to bother coming. I doubt very much that lengthening the school day or school year will do anything to address this increasing and significant problem.
Our families who need the most support have access to the least resources. These same families have often had negative experience with schools and tend to be distrustful of teachers and school professionals. If we want to positively impact these children and provide them with more and better educational opportunities, the Provincial Government needs to do more than make the school day longer. We need a comprehensive collaborative plan including the Ministry of Health, the Ministry of Social Services, and the Ministry of Education. We need resources targeting these most vulnerable Saskatchewan citizens. We need support for these families in the areas of parenting, education, employment, health and various other services.
I know that when you ask people what they need more of in order to do something well, the answer is inevitably going to be 'time' but it isn't just about time, it is about how you use that time and for some of our students, time is running out. I am afraid for them, 950 is not the solution.
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