Parenting was hard enough before the elf on the shelf

I try to keep my head above water, pack the lunches, organize the school bags, check the agendas, pack for swimming, ballet, gymnastics, arrange the carpools, book the dentist appointments, organize the birthday parties, sign the field trip forms, etc. etc. it is not easy and, if I am being honest, I can barely manage it but I somehow kept it going until…the elf the shelf.

For those of you who are not familiar, this cute little doll magically appears one month before Christmas to watch your kids and report back to Santa.  Each morning, the children find it perched in a different spot where it can see what they are doing and if they are being naughty or nice.  Seems simple enough right? WRONG.

Suddenly elves are playing checkers with carefully posed stuffed animals, making snow angels in sugar on the kitchen table, dressed in designer clothes cruising with Barbie in the Malibu mobile, fighting Darth Vader action figures with plastic light sabres.  Not only do these super elves engage in these fabulous activities, but the parents post the photos on Instagram and Facebook leaving my kids to wonder: What’s wrong with our elf? Why did we get this lazy, underachieving elf?  Sometimes she even forgets to move!  Is there something we can do?  

The people with the good elves, coincidentally, are also the ones whose tooth fairies leave handwritten notes and put the tooth money in coloured glitter water.  My children know that our teeth must not have been brushed well enough to earn the note or special water, the tooth fairy has occasionally been so disappointed in my kid’s teeth that she didn’t even bother to take them.  When she does, they only get $1.00 or $2.00 and she never leaves them a gift!

The other day, our dog took a fondness to our elf on the shelf.  He grabbed her from the shelf and mauled her a little bit.  She made it out a little worse for the wear (darn) and now is recovering from her ordeal but may be a little slow moving for a while.  We will be patient with her through her rehabilitation progress.

For those of you, who, like me, have a lazy elf, do not despair.  Teach your children to appreciate your elf for who she is, not what she does and, if that doesn’t work, think about getting a dog.